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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  October 13, 2016 11:50pm-12:53am EDT

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how do we measure greatness in how america? you? the height of our skyscrapers? the size of our bank accounts? no. it's measured by what we do for our children. the values we pass on. i've spent my life fighting for kids and families and it will be my mission to build a country where our children can rise as high as their dreams and hard work take them. that means good schools for every child in every zip code. college that leads to opportunities... not debt. and an economy where every young american can find a job that lets them start a family of their own. we face big challenges, but we can solve them the same way families do. working together. respecting one another. and never giving up. i want our success to be measured by theirs. i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message.
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>> welcome to the most the postgame show. >> trevor siemian's 50th pass attempt on the night was a hail mary a few yards shy of the end zone and of the chargers, the snakebitten chargers avoid yet another harrowing loss as we finally have a smile on the face of the men who will soon be visiting the postgame show set in san diego, california. philip rivers soon to be joining, on the thursday night football postgame show set in san diego. we are inside the studio here in los angeles of nfl network as you are seeing philip rivers numbers, racked up mostly in a high-quality first half. then the chargers put their
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hands firmly on the wheel at 10-2 with a foot on the break with the blinkers on and hope for the best and they finally did get the best. michael irvin, you were the only one of this panel to pick the chargers tonight, you have the first word. >> i appreciate that, i appreciate taking the victory raced there. as i look at it, let's think about this now. coach gary kubiak is one of the best coaches in this league. we all send him well wishes. but not having a moment sideline, i knew, i knew that had to affect this team. san diego has been getting out in a leeds and then they would have to come back in denver that gary kubiak. >> the other head coach do nothing looking getting off the hot seat for mike mccoy and otherwise beating the super bowl champions at home. that's a big win at home for him. congratulations for the chargers, john pagano with sensational. >> all the numbers aside from all the stats, chargers found a way to win the football game, that's it. >> with that win and sending the charges to the victor's podium the broncos to 4-2, that means
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in a black hole, on sunday, the raiders are one home win against the chiefs away from having sole possession of the afc west. through six weeks now that week six isunderway, lifting things back out to san diego with jim and phil, gentlemen which mark >> jim: thank you, this stadium proving tonight it can get very loud around here and they've emptied it out pretty quickly passed san diego takes the game here 21-13. just a thought about where are the champs? where are the broncos after that four-game win streak to start the season and now two consecutive losses. >> phil: my faith would not be shaken because i think their defense, we saw it here. you can say whatever you want about the chargers offense, they played and pulled back. i told you many times, i don't think they can throw a ball and make a first down either. i think the denver broncos are going to be a there all year long. soon next week thursday night football, level field, chicago bears, green bay packers. >> phil: can't wait to see
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that, john fox used to coach out in denver. see other team is getting better especially on the offensive side. can't wait to see aaron rodgers, can i get it rolling which mark will find out. >> jim: coming up next, your latest local news except on the west coast and it don't miss the late showed the the late show with stephen colbert don't miss the late late show with james gordon. the postgame show continues on nfl network. the charges when it 21-13, they go to 2-4 on the year. for phil, tracy, jay feely, all the crew. jim nantz saying us a lot of from san diego and we thank you for watching the mouse that postgame show.
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show. wendy's taco salad is back. wendy's had a taco salad? wendy's had a taco salad. fresh chopped lettuce and tomatoes. classic chili and tortilla chips. if you remember wendy's taco salad... you're welcome! if you don't you will! you're welcome! jack knocked over a candlestick, onto the shag carpeting... ...and his pants ignited into flames, causing him to stop, drop and roll.
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luckily jack recently had geico help him with renters insurance. because all his belongings went up in flames. jack got full replacement and now has new pants he ordered from banana republic. visit and see how affordable renters insurance can be. >> cbs sports thanks you for watching this presentation of the national football league.
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fios is not cable. we're wired differently. we guarantee to make switching easier. we'll show up on time. you're right on time. as promised, to install fios and set up the wi-fi that janet, jamie, jenny, jemma and jasmine need on their birthday. thank you. for all their new devices. you can't break me. you want a piece of cake? switching to fios is easier than ever. now get 100 meg internet, plus tv and phone for just $69.99 per month online. cable can't offer these speeds at this price. only fios can. ♪ ♪ with simply right checking from santander bank, just make one deposit, withdrawal, transfer, or payment each month to waive the monthly fee. and there's no minimum balance.
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you're alright with simply right checking from santander bank. ♪ are you feeling alright, baby? ♪ from santander bank. >> a lieder on and off the field and one-on-one with jordan matthews and the advice he received from a very famous
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relative to unbelievable encounter with kanye west and change of heart at a philadelphia cheesesteak shop. genos removes a sign that stirred up controversy not only in the city but nationwide. the sign requested customers order in english. i'm ukee washington. >> and i'm nicole brewer in for jessica dean tonight. natasha brown has more on why the current owner decided to take it down. >> brisk flow of customers at geno's steaks. it is business as usual without a piece of signage that once adorned the window and stirred national controversy. >> he made the right choice. >> for a decade this sign read "this is america when ordering speak english" it's what greeted customers and forced a hearing on human relations, joey vento spoke passionately during thint view. >> you can learn 100 language languages. here the sign is telling you
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here we only speak english. >> joey vixt nto pass away 2011 his son goode ino taken over the family business and decided to remove the sign. geno's steaks released a statement saying while geno continues to honor traditions of good quality food, cleanliness and giving back to the community he decided aafter ten years it's time to move on. it's not about a sign. it's about what you do and what your mark in life s and geno wants to change that mark in life. customers seem tomorrow brace the move. >> i think it's important for us to embrace anybody's language and culture to the best of our abilities i appreciate the fact he's taken the sign down i think it's the right choice. >> this nation is very, very diverse and we're here to enjoy cheesesteaks. but, all money is green and all people bleed red no matter our language. >> i'm fine one way or the other. >> joey vext nto's son
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released that saying they want to move on after 50 years of being in business. in south philadelphia, natasha brown, cbs3, eyewitness news. >> 25 days until election day and in the race for president the campaign trail is again running through pennsylvania as hillary clinton and don bell go on the attack. trump's running mate mike pence spoke to northampton county gop tonight the republican vice presidential nominee visited several times opt trail. tonight he talked jobs and encouraged those to get out and attack hillary clinton. >> i'm old enough to remember that when a president erased 18 1/2 minutes of audio tape and we ran them out of washington d.c.. hillary clinton and her team used high technology to erase nearly 18,000 emails. >> republican nominee is den denying he sexually assaulted five accusers and is threatening to sue the "new york times". trump fired back during a rally
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in florida. >> these claims are all fabricated. they're purification and they're outright lies. these events never, ever, happened. >> and ivanka trump hit the campaign trail in our area. she stumped in malvern and drexel hill. >> democratic presidential nominee hillary clinton is on the campaign trail is california. he rallied during a fundrais fundraisener san francisco this afternoon and wiki leaks released more emails. they show the campaign tried to move illinois primary to a later date and clinton focused on issues during a fundraiser. >> it is not just to win this election. it's actually bigger than that. we need to demonstrate that we have a hopeful positive unifying vision. >> meanwhile first lady michelle obama delivered
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impassioned criticism of don bell without even saying his name the entire time. she spoke at a rally for hillary clinton in new hampshire. >> strong men, men truly role models don't need to put down women to make themselves feel powerful. people who are truly strong lift things up. people who are truly powerful bring others together. and that is what we need in our next president. >> the third and final presidential debate is wednesday night. >> a judge in north jersey rules misconduct complaint should go forward meaning governor chris christie will be investigated again in connection with the bridgegate scandal the complaint was fired by firefighter william brenant aling the government nor knew of closures and should have stopped them. christie has been investigated before and no charges were filed. bergen county acting prosecutor well decide if christie should
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be indicted they issued a statement saying this is dishonorable complaint filed by a known serial complaintant and political activist with history of abusing the judicial system. and nsb investigators state brakes were working on new jersey transit train that slammed into hoboken station last no month. they released preliminary report on the crash today and say the train speed tripled before the crash. one woman was killed while standing on a station platform and more than 100 others were hurt. major damage to the train is slowing down the investigation and it could be take more than a year to determine the cause. honda is recalling 350,000 civics over a parking brake issue. the recall affects 2016 civic coups and said anticipates. the electronic parking brake may not work after turning ignition off. if the car is not engaged and in park it could role away causing injury.
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no injuries have been reported. they'll make repairs for free. >> so much attention this eagles' season has gone the man under center carson wentz. >> so many caught the ball and jordan matthews has been went go thoyv man the whole year. sports director don bell joining us with more on that. >> somebody has to catch the ball. eagles have a good, young, talented nucleus of players. one guy is wide receiver jordan matthew as i man just as comfortable in a game as he is in front of a mic. >> when did that happen. >> a pair of crooked mangled pinkyes that point whichever direction they please and as professional wide receiver it's just cost of doing business. >> looking, fires, touchdown. jordan matthews. >> jordan is one of those dudes who loves what he does even after suffering a heartbreaking loss like the one last week in detroit.
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>> at a young age i saw my parents they made up and never went toe bed angry. they said never go to sleep worried about something that didn't go your way. >> jordan drive for the game started when he was a kid and later got a boost if a family member. >> another pass by jerry wright. >> he happens to be cousin of hall of famer jerry rice a guy many experts call the greatest football player of all time. >> whenever i went to school and every day they made us stand up and say your name and something nobody knows about you. >> i said my cousin is jay wright. they're like you can call him. i'm like no. >> what's the best advice he gave along the way. >> you need to have the attitude you're the best out there. yes, you need to nope your place as far as not being the person talking all the time do you need to jump in the front of the line or veteran guy there no we're not saying that but mentally you have to
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understand and tell yourself every day i'm the best guy out here. >> off the field jordan favorite artist kanye west considers himself the best guy out there and matthews a few years ago had annen counter with him at a concert. >> me and my brother were rocking out and goes over and said you do t. i was word, i grabbed mic and i do that part of of the song. like i do it and then i look at him and i'm like yo, you want your mic back. >> do you have video. >> i don't have a video. >> i don't. >> i got the mic i don't need the video. >> these days matthews is come into his own. on the field, no player in eagles history has had more catches for the first two full seasons. over the field, he's ready to give back. this year, he launched his own khar tut jordan matthews mission which focuses on feeding, educating and empowering family. >> we started the foundation you know really to start feeding different families.
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i grew up in a family i had both parties and brother and that was huge in my growth. it was so instrumental and i think not enough people understand the power of family. >> speaking of giving back to the community, jordan may have something special for cbs3 photographer kyle hall. when matthews caught a touchdown pass from carson fwhents week one hall was on receiving end of a helmet to mouth pick. >> i actually saw him after the game and what happened? you're like looking like you're in a car wreck. >> and the next thing i remember is big hit in the face and i go backwards about ten yards into the barrier. >> if that was not carson's first touchdown ball we would have given it to him. they took it to the eagles hall of fame. sorry, bro'. >> sorry, kyle. >> we'll get you something for christmas. >> something. >> appreciate it. >> jordan matthews a whole lot of fun. smart dude, went top vanderbil vanderbilt, economics major and
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you can tell just a mega great guy. lot of fun. >> he's like i don't need video i got the microphone. >> good stuff. >> great, thanks, don. >> we're not finished talking football. north pep high kelly macnamara took the internet by storm with impressive tackle. but are we ready to see women play in the pros. straight ahead i take that question to the streets and see what you think. >> it's it's a wing lovers paradise. chicken wings rule at the south jersey line. recipe all across the region flocking to this neighborhood bar. lauren. >> we dealt with fog, showers and clouds around today. skies clearing on out and temperatures getting chilly tonight. i'll talk about where those fall into the 30s plus great weekend ahead for all pumpkin activities. i'll have your forecast coming up. >> and bob dillon is now a noble prize winner and getting mixed reviews, we'll be right noble prize winner and getting mixed reviews, we'll be right back.
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>> this week a female football player made serious headlines for her on the field. her video went viral on theit internet. success in male dominant sport got us wondering could women be on the same plague field as men in the pros. >> it was defensive play that put north penn kicker and the school first female player kelly macnamara on the sglap it was awesome. >> nice tackle too. >> hit on the field and onlin online. viral video has some wonder physical women will ever play in nfl. >> i see potential. >> i wouldn't put it past them. >> if they can play that level absolutely. >> i don't think it's a level playing field. >> lines are blurred in the world of professional sports. in 2014 becky hammond was hired as assistant coach for san antonio spurs first time full salary dmoingt nba history. one year later sarah thomas became first female official in
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the nfl. >> you're good. >> women maying calling shots but some say size and strength will keep them on the sideline sidelines. >> could potentially lead toer jury and those kinds of things. >> if she's well trained and in good shape and athletically can hand till would not have a problem with it they'll have to work a little harder. >> in a world u.s. women's world team is 6 cebts on the dollar compared to men's team who won a championship the year before some say female athletes should focus on growing support for their own organization. >> it honors their female athleticism and abilities and strengths and there's something nice about that too. >> no question, though, there's so many amazing femaleage sgleets no question about it. >> they don't get the same support as men. so you know we have a long way to go. >> i love kelly's video. she's porch she did a great jo job. >> humble. >> yes, indeeds that's important. >> in a surprise move sing erin songwriter bob dillon was awarded noble prize in literature remember kneesing
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him for creating new poet he can traditions in song and they compared his worth to homer and stople. well game day food staple will cost a lot more to make. price of avocados is skyrocketing, single avocado could cost you $2 to $3 at the store. produce companies say it's highest price increase in three decade. slim crop snn california and labor in pricing disputes in mexico are driving up the cost. >> football and wings make a great combination for tonight's taste of torey. >> visit torey shows you where the wings are colted and they'real most too hot to handle and too tasty to resist. >> grab napkins and this jersey joint the wings are so finger-licking good they'll
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make you forget what you're doing. >> are we still filming. >> the jug handle has been here nor years. >> wings started in 1980. >> we continue today. >> kevin and coal stone are the inn keepers fourth owners in over 100 years. since inn was originally owned and known as hole in the wall. now jugs patrons make marks on walls and ceilings and jug continues to make this spots off 73 a destination for wings. >> we do about 100 cases of wings a week. >> a week. >> a week. >> our wings are unusual we keep tips on them we added different sauces to it. >> 50 sauce combinations to be exact. hi to spread my wings. >> check out wing span. >> before getting dressed these wings are coated in a special breading dropped in the fryer and silzed until golden and crispy and then get ready for garlic wings. >> so awesome. >> sticky asian chilly wings. >> sweet, tanky, spicy.
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>> finger lick eup amazing. >> hot and honey or even sweet garlicy bar b cue wins. >> is there a laidle served with this. >> they will send your taste bud soaring with balanced eagle wings hot, hot, hot, has been fairy sauce. >> i'm a big fan kevin. >> you mind holding my hair back, please, do you have a damp cloth maybe, pat me down. wow. i think my vision it going blu blurry. >> that was hot, but worth the tasty pain. >> you get a pen that says i can handle balanced eagles at the jug. >> thanks. >> i did it. >> i did it. >> is my makeup still on my face. >> tori. >> she was sweating. >> she was sweating big time i love you tor. >> get those wings, girls. >> great job.
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lauren joins us with the forecast on this friday eve i like to call it. >> it's friday sgleev it's friday. >> it's official. >> we're a little later it's official. >> and a good weekend. pumpkin patch weekend. >> nice. >> or khandz will be beautiful for all the fun, fall activit activities, nice sunny conditions and crisp as well and beautiful conditions now as we get a live look at center city, philadelphia, clear skies, 57 degrees. cooler and drier air building in to the city as we speak. dew points dropped off 10 degrees since earlier this afternoon it was a little muggy today and we dealt with that fog this morning with drier air building in. and we'll lead to a chillier morning as we lie awake friday morning and yes, for the upcoming weekend, sunny and crisp. great for fall activities. but warm as we head into next week making a run at 80 degrees possible. storm scan three showing trend last couple hours and clouds clearing out of here and crystal clear sky conditions northeast and up to new england and we have a possibility high
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activity and you could catch northern lition in northeastern pennsylvania. look for that you're still awake. over the next couple hours we could see them possibly at the horizon. pretty sight and sky conditions are perfect. if you head out and take a peek you'll need that jacket in the poconos. temperatures down to low 40s. low 50s in lehigh valley and still happening upper 50s in philadelphia and drier air is continuing to spill in from northwest to southeast. dew points already down into the 30s. so that crisp air taking over in the lehigh valley and up towards poconos. berks koumentsy as well and riding in on the north to northwesterly flow. we did have a cold front come through earlier in the day and generated clouds and showers activity and now clear skies will proceed as we head into the overnight period.. and with drier air and cooler air comes cooler temperatures. we wake up tomorrow morning or actually should be tomorrow morning but we're past midnight so this temperature or day turned over. 38 as we wake up in poconos and 37 allentown and along the i 94 corridor temperatures in the .
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it will feel a little chillier touch of breeze. it will impact our feels like temperatures as we need tomorrow morning dropping down into the . low 40s in philadelphia. possibly 20s in the poconos and even into the 9:00 hour. still feeling like 30s in that area. and tracking hurricane nicole, still a category two hurricane. brush by bermuda earlier until the day as category two hurricane. 122 miles an hour and conditions will start to improve. nicole continues to move off to the north, northeast and will eventually dissipate. over the on atlantic, not going to be a threat to the united states. and overnight tonight ooption .ostl >> beautiful conditions in store. bright sunshine. crisp and cooler high temperature of 64. across the region tomorrow, nice conditions albeit breezy at times in poconos. 55 down the shore. very nice sunshine. high temperature of 62.
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as we head to upcoming weekend down right pleasant and chilly saturday morning. 45 degrees. but as we need surprised, high temperatures rebound up to near 70. few showers possible again monday and then check that out. 76 on tuesday. 78 on wednesday. that would be about 10 degrees above average. >> wow, that's high. >> uh-huh. >> a lot this time of year. >> yeah. >> thanks, lauren. >> also talking about birds, don bell. >> woo [ laughter ]. >> too hot. >> you're excited about it. >> i'll take it. >> why not? >> we're talking about the birds, sorry. >> eagles trying to snap the losing streak to washington. we'll hear from one of their leaders and joel embib is playing more and that's a good thing for the sixers. see what the big man did tonight in washingtonment see what the big man did tonight in washingtonment sports coming up next
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when i was one year old, i was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer on my spinal chord. but i spent my whole life fighting back. so you can imagine what i thought when i saw donald trump say... "i don't know what i said, ah, i don't remember!" "that reporter he is talking about suffers from a chronic condition that impairs movement of his arms." i don't want a president who makes fun of me. i want a president who inspires me, and that's not donald trump. priorities usa action is responsible for the content of this advertising. dear fellow citizen, time spent with my son really makes me appreciate "the now". but i also have to plan for my family's future. and that means taking on debt. in a smart way. like my mortgage - it's working for me. and if he needs a college loan down the road, that'll be worth it too. it's all about having a strategy, that fits your life. so, if you have a question about how to make debt work for you, ask me.
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sincerely, brandon heaven fellow dad and fellow citizen. about how to make debt work for you, ask me. katie v/she stays late.rd. but she gets paid 21% less than her male coworkers. pat toomey has voted time after time against equal pay for women, against pay that helps hard working families get ahead. katie o/c: for my daughters and yours, i'll fight for equal pay for women. families need it; you've earned it. katie v/o: i'm katie mcginty, and i approve this message because it's your turn to get ahead.
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do you own a plane? do you own a bank? pat toomey owned both. but it's the fact that toomey owns a seat in the u.s. senate that should really concern us. while on the senate banking committee, pat toomey voted to rewrite rules to help bankers like him ...and he tried to eliminate protections put in place to stop wall street's risky practices. pat toomey: looking out for wall street and himself, not pennsylvania. senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising.
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>> time for sixers. joel embib is ready for 15 minutes of fame. sort of. sixers kept the big man on minutes restriction since returning from injury. it started at 12 and now all the way up to 15. sixers visiting the wizards tonight. first quarter we go. sixers down by 10. then what do you do, give the ball to the big man. >> united states of americay i ukee, i know you love it. >> later on embib again. where are you joel, on the rim.
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slamming it home. slamming it home. look at that group effort ther there. 14 minutes. 11 points, steal and block and sixers take the loss, 1 00-7 the final. >> eagles loss three in a rotating back to 2014 the last time they played was in december of last year a 1 14-point loss and of course this is a different birds team. new head coach and new quarterback and overall eagle maybe-1 after the bitter loss to detroy troyt they should be focused. >> there's enough most vacation we're coming off a loss. we want to get back in the winning column. and it's divisional game on the road. and that's enough motivation in itself. we don't feel pressure if we don't win. everything all of a sudden is out of control. >> malcolm's beard is so strong. he credits his wife for the way by the strong beard.
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that's neither here nor there. thursday night football denver and san diego at san diego. tossed for 178 yards for chargers go on to win this thing 21-1. hey he told me that himself i'm not making it up. what does she have to do with the beard she trims it for him. >> no. >> how is she responsible for it. >> i'll ask him. >> i have a follow up question malcolm beard grooming 101. >> thanks the. >> up next, lauren has weekend
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i can't believe gus, you're not scared are you? you're the second most famous groundhog in pennsylvania. i don't like thunder! (bashfully) this is getting creepy! (sfx: loud thunder clap) grrrr, did you say creepy? creepy cash? the new instant game from the pennsylvania lottery. yeah, with top prizes of 50 grand. that's a monster of a prize. keep on scratchin' i've always taken on the status quo. in harrisburg, they didn't like it when i stopped their perks and pushed for reform. as head of pennsylvania's third-largest county, i cut out wall street middlemen to protect pensions. now, as chairman of the pennsylvania commission on crime, i'm leading the fight to stop the epidemic of heroin and opioid abuse. as attorney general, i'll prosecute anyone who scams our seniors. and i'll hold the oil and gas companies accountable to keep our drinking water safe. i'm josh shapiro. i'll be an attorney general who always fights for you.
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>> cbs3, cw philly and komen philadelphia are team up in the fight against breast cancer turning the sky line pink. >> penns landing columbus boulevard hilton all aflow in pink. october is national breast cancer awareness month and pink lights reminder to schedule a mammogram and stay vigilant in the fight against breast cancer this is lights for cure campaign and you can find more information at cbs laura. >> taking a look at the upcoming weekend. beautiful conditions in store across the delaware valley and beautiful to get out there. check out fall foliage especially poconos. low humidity takes you throughout the weekend with high temperature warming to 60 s.
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by end of weekend city looking great with high temperatures 70 surprised and beautiful down the shore temperatures in mid up toer 60s
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tv-commercial tv-commercial
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afoot and light-hearted i take to the open road. healthy, free, the world before me, the long brown path before me leading wherever i choose. the east and the west are mine. the north and the south are mine. all seems beautiful to me. pass >> thank for staying up
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late with us our morning steam back 4:30 to 7 a.m. for don, jaes and kate for everyone i'm ukee washington. >> and i'm nicole brewer we're always on cbs >> the late night show isw i next. >> good morning, familiar. next. >> good morning, familiar. have a good night
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captioning sponsored by cbs >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes bruce springsteen. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! hey, everybody! whooo! thank you, joseph. >> jon: hey! i know. >> stephen: hey! welcome to the show.
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welcome to "the late show"." thanks so much, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) welcome to "the late show," ladies and gentlemen. thank you so much, thank you so much. i'm your host, stephen colbert, and you are here on a very special night. a little later i will be sitting down with bruce springsteen. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: the boss, boss in the house. >> stephen: time permitting, obviously. we'll see if we can get to it. everyone is talking about this donald trump guy, and i do mean everyone. because yesterday, the dalai lama appeared on a british morning talk show and said this: >> have you met donald trump? >> never. >> what do you think of him? >> i don't know. sometimes when you see him, the way his hair-- something like that. and his mouth, small. that is my impression. >> stephen: that's a pretty good impression of donald trump.
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i thought you said you never met him. because his hair is like this, and his mouth is like... >> jon: oh, man! >> stephen: i wonder how that feels. how does that feel? imagine being trash-talked by the dalai lama. >> jon: that's serious. >> stephen: i have got to wonder what did trump do to the dalai lama in a previous life? i thought trump would have an affinity with buddhists. i thought buddhists would really love trump because if he gets the nuclear codes, we could all achieve nothingness. that was a pretty good burn by the dalai lama. i just, i can't imagine the dalai lama at a roast. "your mother was so fat, she was reincarnated as two people. namaste." let's see what else is happening. oh, tech news. you guys like apple products? you guys have the iphone and stuff like that? ( cheers and applause )
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then you may already know this. apple just patented an exciting new innovation: a paper bag. and you know it's the latest in bag technology because there's no headphone jack. now, why would somebody need this new apple bag? well, apple explained that in this actual quote from their patent application, "bags are often used for containing items." >> jon: dig that. >> stephen: now, i didn't understand all that technical jargon, but it does sound like apple is coming out with another new product, "items." ( laughter ) could be. i don't know. now, i'm a famous tv guy, so i get all the latest apple gadgets in advance. and i happen to have a beta model of the new apple bag. right here. here we go. this is the new apple bag. there it is. just look at this beautiful, smooth design. the way it rests in my hands right there, it's just so-- it's so intuitive.
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it's hard to believe it's only $900. and to make the bag even more sleek and user friendly, apple has done away with the hole in the top. but, if you really need one, they are selling these hole adapters for only $79.95 right here. ( cheers and applause ) if you want to, you can reapply up there. i also purchased-- and these are really fantastic. they're the latest thing. i purchased these bluetooth handles for the bag. ( laughter ) i'm having a little trouble getting them to pair right now. whatever. i'll take it to the genius bag. not to be outdone, samsung has unveiled their new galaxy tote 7. can we see the footage, jim? there you go. ( cheers and applause ) that is-- that's a hot item! that's a hot item. >> jon: it's on fire! >> stephen: do not stomp that out if it appears on your doorstep. there is also an exciting new product just for the ladies out there.
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there are two ladies out there, evidently. a spanish car manufacturer-- and evidently there is one-- has teamed up with "cosmo" magazine to design a car specifically for the "cosmo" woman. you can tell it's by "cosmo," because the seats can be put in 75 different positions. and one of them will drive your man wild. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ♪ ♪ now, i don't-- i don't know what this means. good luck. i don't understand what makes the car for women. i'm sure a man could operate this car just as easily. although, he might have trouble finding the button that turns it on. i hear, i hear. i don't know, i hear that. i hear there's a problem sometimes. oh, i want to remind everyone that "the late show" will be broadcasting live this monday after the very first presidential debate. ( cheers and applause ) so be sure to tune in, whichever
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candidate you're enraged by. because hillary clinton and donald trump are the two least popular major party nominees in american history. luckily, you have options, because according to the federal election comission, 1,928 people have declared their candidacy for president this year. and before you ask, no, none of them were michelle obama. i know. the number of declared candidates has more than quadrupled since the last election cycle, because the f.e.c. has started accepting filings on the internet. so now there are some goofy candidates who have no real shot, like "cobra commander;" "yoda starwars;" and best of all, there's a listing that says god is running for president. that's great news. i was worried this election was proof there is no god. so good luck to all those candidates. especially, good luck to god because of all those scandals in his past. did you know that he turned
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lot's wife into a pillar of salt? that's going to hurt him with soccer moms. >> whoa, whoa, hold on a second, stephen. stephen. >> stephen: god, is that you? >> yes, that's me, right behind this thing. yeah, here i am. >> stephen: why are you running for president? >> well, people really wanted me in the race. they look at hillary and trump and call out, "god help us." >> stephen: okay, that makes sense, that makes a little bit of sense. >> i think so. >> stephen: do you have a running mate yet? >> oh, don't bring it up. i've narrowed it down to either "the son" or "the holy ghost." and whoever i don't pick, is gonna be pissed. as you know, junior's very sensitive. >> stephen: he'll forgive you. >> maybe. >> stephen: god, isn't your age going to be an issue? >> oh no. if you read the bible, you'll see i've mellowed with age. besides, i've got a one-page letter from my doctor saying i'm extremely healthy. ( cheers and applause ) there, look at that. >> stephen: glad to hear it. that's good to hear. >> he wrote it while i was in the limo.
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>> stephen: so, god, where do you stand on the issues, like, for instance, global warming? >> hey, don't blame global warming on me. i was one burning bush. come on. but i do have a plan: arks for everybody! nothing like riding out the flood on the high seas, listening to yaks doing it. they make a lot of noise. i'll tell you. nothing louder than a yak in the sack, stephen. ( laughter ) >> stephen: let's move on, god. >> yes, let's move on quickly. >> stephen: i don't want to question your ways, oh lord, but if you don't win, would you endorse one of the other candidates? >> oh, i don't know. i mean, trump's asked for my help, but he's got tiny hands, so his prayers aren't very effective. ( laughter ) >> stephen: well, i wish you luck with your campaign, god. what do you think your chances are? >> pretty good! everywhere but the southern states. >> stephen: why not the southern states? >> i'm just not religious enough for them. ( laughter ) >> stephen: god, everybody! we'll be right back with bruce springsteen. thank you, god.
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>> oh, springsteen is the real god! ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ but when we brought our daughter home, that was it. now i have nicoderm cq. the nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release technology helps prevent your urge to smoke all day. it's the best thing that ever happened to me. every great why needs a great how.
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i would support legislation in pennsylvania that would ban abortion and i would suggest we have penalties for doctors who perform them. would you put people in jail for performing abortions? at some point doctors performing abortions i think would be subject to that sort of penalty. dscc is responsible for the content of this advertising.
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. my first guest tonight is the master american troubadour of my lifetime. ladies and gentleman, bruce springsteen! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪
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( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> audience: bruce! >> stephen: welcome to the show. >> thank you. thanks. >> stephen: thank you for being here. >> my pleasure. >> stephen: it's an honor to have you. do you recognize that song they were just playing there? >> you're going to have to tell me. >> stephen: that was "you can't judge a book by its cover." >> get out! >> stephen: yeah. which is on the companion album to your book. the album is called "chapter and verse." 50 years of music on here from you. >> yeah. >> stephen: that song, too. >> 50 years and loss of hearing for me, also. right. >> stephen: so "you can't judge a book by the cover." how old were you when you recorded that? >> well, that was recorded in a
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little club called the left foot in freehold, new jersey-- ( applause ) whoa! you've never been there. ( laughter ) and i was 16. 16. >> stephen: wow. well, if you can't judge a book by the cover, let's talk about the cover of this book right here. there it is, your new memoir "born to run." so let's judge this book by its cover. can you tell me about this guy on the cover of this book? how old are you there? >> i'm 27. >> stephen: you're 27. >> 27. >> stephen: what would you-- what do you think this guy at 27 would say if he saw this guy at 67? >> okay. "where'd my car go? who's the old man in the suit jacket? and what did he do with my hair?" i'd say-- ( cheers and applause ) you know.
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>> stephen: so, why did you write a book? you've been writing for years, you know. it's an autobiography, but your songs-- unless i'm wrong-- are auto-biographical. >> they seem that way. >> stephen: yeah. they seem that way? have you been lying to us in the songs all these years, bruce? >> well, that's what artists do. they lie in service of the truth. >> stephen: really? >> of course. >> stephen: is that what you tell the judge? so what were you able to do in a book that you couldn't do in songs? >> the book is very different. you have-- you have to-- you still have to find rhythm, and you have to find music in the prose that you're writing, but there's a lot more space to delve into deeper details. and also, an autobiography, people know it's immediately about your life. whereas the songs, there's always a question, you know. "are you the guy in 'racing in the street'." are you the guy in 'growing up?' in some cases, i am that guy. in others, it was completely imagined. in the book people know, it's
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directly from your experience. >> stephen: well, it's-- it's like your music in that it's-- it's beautiful, incredibly moving. every-- practically every paragraph that i've read in this has been like poetry. >> whoa! >> stephen: no, but also-- but, no-- >> let's go there. >> stephen: but it's also like listening to you talk at the same time. how long did it take you to find the voice of this book? what was the process of writing this book like for you? >> it started when we played the super bowl, which is, even if you've been at it a long time, it's a little bit of a hairy-- a hairy evening. >> stephen: you might slide on your knees and grind your groin into a camera, in the middle of it, like i seem to remember you doing. >> that's true. that's just one of the many things that could happen. ( laughter ) but after, you know, it ended up being quite an experience, so i wrote a little essay to put on our website, and i kind of liked the voice that i found in the essay.
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it felt like me. so we were in florida for a while after the super bowl, and i sat around, and i said, well maybe i'll throw some memories down from when i started. so i just started from the beginning. and i spent about two or three weeks writing, and initially i thought, well, you know, i don't know what i'm going to do with it. maybe it will just be for the kids to read or something when they get older. and then i wrote a little bit more, and i wrote a little bit more. and i put it away, sometimes for a year, even longer when we toured. and i come back to it and i go, that's pretty good. maybe i'll keep going. so, eventually it got to a point where i knew i was in the process of writing a book, and-- but i really kind of wrote it somewhat casually over seven years. >> stephen: so this is seven years of your life represented right here. >> yeah, i think so. two years, if you compact it all in one space.


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